Stop Asking Everyone Else What You Should Do
TL:DR - Your body knows… you just need to tap in.
Most of us were taught that the bigger the decision, the more people we should ask.
Friends… family… Instagram polls…
And yet, the more opinions we collect, the more confused and paralyzed we feel.
By the end of this post, you’ll be able to make clear, aligned decisions – even life-changing ones – in under five minutes, using nothing but your own body.
And it’s backed by both neuroscience and spiritual traditions.
Why we outsource decisions
There are two main reasons – one neurological, one developmental.
First, the neurology.
When we’re stressed or in decision fatigue, the prefrontal cortex – the logical decision-making part of the brain – literally goes offline.
Your body feels unsafe, so it looks outside itself for safety cues; that’s why you suddenly need ten opinions before choosing a restaurant.
Second, the developmental piece.
Most of us were raised in systems that punished independent thinking or knowing.
Raise your hand if you ever got in trouble for “not asking an adult first.”
That conditioning runs deep.
But the good news is that your body already knows the answer. It never lost the ability to guide you – you just stopped listening because the world got so loud.
The 4-Step Somatic Decision Protocol
Step 1 – The 30-Second Drop-In Check
Stand up or sit with both feet on the floor.
Close your eyes if it feels safe.
Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly.
Take three slow breaths and silently ask:
“What energy am I in right now?”
Don’t analyze – just notice.
Spacious and open? Tight and rushed? Numb?
If you feel anything other than calm or neutral, you are not in a state to decide yet.
Come back when your nervous system is regulated.
Step 2 – The Yes/No Body Test
Once you’re regulated, ask the question out loud in its simplest form.
Examples:
“Stay in this relationship?”
“Take this job?”
“Launch the course in January?”
Now wait for the very first micro-movement in your body.
Most people get one of four signals:
• Forward lean or opening in chest = yes
• Backward lean or sinking feeling = no
• Full-body lightness and expansion = hell yes
• Contraction or heaviness = hell no
Very important: do NOT override the first signal with logic.
That first signal is your intuition speaking before the mind hijacks it.
Step 3 – The 5-Minute Clarity Walk
If the answer still feels fuzzy, go for a five-minute walk with zero stimulation – no phone, no music, no podcast.
Silently repeat the question every 30–60 seconds.
By minute four or five, most folks have clarity.
The movement recalibrates the vagus nerve and lets the body vote louder than the mind.
Step 4 – The 24-Hour Integrity Rule
Once you have your body’s answer, sleep on it one night.
Ask yourself in the morning:
“If no one would ever know what I chose, and there were zero consequences, what would I do?”
If the answer is still the same, you’re done. Move forward.
Mistakes to Avoid
Common mistakes to avoid:
• Asking the question when dysregulated
• Overriding the first signal with “but what will people think?”
• Turning this into another perfectionist performance
Your body is not trying to get it “right.”
It’s trying to get you back into alignment.
Thanks for visiting — its an honor to have you here!
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Note: This post is intended for information and entertainment purposes only; nothing in this article or episode is a substitute for medical or mental health treatment; do not delay necessary medical care; please work with a qualified and licensed health care provider in your area.
