5 Ways to Use Social Media Mindfully
TL:DR - Have a plan, get in and get out. Or don’t.
MySpace came up at a holiday party a few weeks ago. Gathered around a kitchen island, fellow millenials waxed poetic about the implications of moves on the top friends list, the music and backgrounds you could add… ahh, MySpace. LiveJournal came up, and of course, Facebook. How far we’ve come with SnapChat, TikTok, Instagram. And of course the argument about whether or not YouTube qualifies as social media…
Although I missed MySpace altogether, I came to social media when I went off to college, (back in my day!!!) when you had to have a student email to get a Facebook account. Inferiority, jealousy, insecurity… these were acute feelings during that first year of college, clicking through photo albums of my old high school classmates. Everyone was having a better time, doing more, doing better than I was.
Fast forward to today, and most folks understand that what we see on social isn’t ‘real’, just like reality TV isn’t ‘real’. That doesn’t mean that the emotional effects are any less significant. Particularly on platforms where success comes from engagement, and engagement is far better fueled by outrage and fear than curiosity and connection.
While research is mixed, I can say from a clinical perspective working with a population of patients who are anxious and depressed, getting off social media is incredible for improving mood and motivation. I’ve had folks come back after a month of changing nothing except social media use with markedly improved depressive symptoms.
Even putting limits on social media use has outsized benefits for folks with generalized anxiety and panic disorder. The flip side, of course, is that social media is a place (sometimes the only place) where folks are able to connect. Particularly folks who are disabled or chronically ill. Social media does have wonderful, legitimate uses connecting folks who are interested in similar things. Say folks who do/are learning fiber arts or who are geeking out over the production tactics in Lord of the Rings…
Whether you’re aware your social media use has gotten out of hand, or you’re exploring ways to live more mindfully overall, here are 5 basic tools and strategies to help.
1: What do you want out of it?
Why are you using social media in the first place?
Lots of people use socials for lots of different reasons. For some, social platforms are really the only place they’re able to connect with friends. Marketing is another use of social media. Or education or exploring what you’re curious about. Perhaps you’ve family scattered around the world, and socials allow you to keep up with them in more or less real time.
These are all valid reasons for using social media.
Recognize too, as you think about this, if there are less constructive reasons you’re deciding to the scroll.
Do you enjoy getting agitated via political content, or rage bait?
Are you trying to recharge, and using the dopamine hit of your feed as a proxy for actual rest?
Perhaps you’re uncertain what to think and rely on creators and influencers to tell you?
Is it just a habit you don’t even think about anymore?
There’s no judgement here — I think most of us who use social media have related to these motivations.
If you know why you’re using it, you can structure your use intentionally, so that you’re getting out of it what you actually want.
2: Check the Stats
How much time are you spending on social media?
Most (all?) smartphones have some sort of screen time feature, where you can look at how many times you’ve picked up your phone, how many minutes (hours) you’ve spent on different apps. You can also see when you’ve been using
Just like we tend to underestimate how much we’ve eaten, overestimate how much we’ve exercised, I think we tend to underestimate how much time we actually spend on social media.
Does the amount of time you’re using line up with your reasons for wanting to use social media?
There aren’t any ‘right’ answers here, but awareness is key if you’re looking to adjust behavior and be more mindful.
3: Make a routine, and maybe a list
Routines create boundaries around behavior. In the case of social media, having a routine of taking a look at what your favorite creators have posted once a week on Friday can go a long way to helping you use social media for the reasons you want, while not ending up in hours-long scroll sessions throughout the week.
Maybe you have a weekly call with your parents; check social media right before or right after to get caught up on what other folks in the family or community are up to.
If you’re looking to stay caught up on news from creators you enjoy, maybe you have a timer for 10 minutes in the morning while you have your coffee.
A list comes in handy if you do have favorite creators you want to stay caught up with. Instead of scrolling, be targeted — look at those accounts and then sign off.
4: Bundle w/ a positive habit
The notifications and scroll mechanism on social media is specifically crafted to ping the reward pathways in the brain. Use this to your advantage. Bundle your social media habit with another positive habit you’re working to build.
Looking to get to the gym more? ONLY use social media on the treadmill. Or only use social media after you’ve gotten your reps in (NOT between reps).
Getting into a meal prep routine? ONLY use social media after you’ve made your meal plan, or after you’ve finished prepping your meals.
Paying of credit card debt? ONLY use social media after you’ve checked your statements once a week.
You get the idea — use the inherent ‘rewards’ of social media to get your habits on track in other ways that are more productive and constructive over the long term.
5: Don’t
Take time away from socials all together. Delete the apps, or build more friction into opening them by hiding them away in a rarely-used folder on your phone.
For some folks, staying off for one day is a significant goal. For others, trying a month without is a great goal to reach for.
Remember, like we talked about, chronic, regular social media use wreaks havoc with the dopamine system. If you’re someone who is chronically online, it’s likely you’ll feel a little down, a little meh for a day or two you’re not using social media. This will pass. Promise.
A great way to account for this is first to expect it and know it will pass, but also, have a backup activity. A book you’ve been wanting to get to? A recipe you’ve been wanting to try out? Maybe you’ve been meaning to get the dog out for a longer walk? Perhaps crochet is calling your name? Be intentional about how you will spend your time in lieu of scrolling.
As you go, notice what changes:
Does your mood dip and them come back better than its been?
Does your ability to focus change?
How is your thinking off social media?
What’s the quality of your conversations?
Has your sleep changed at all?
What about motivation? Creativity?
These are all changes I’ve both heard from folks clinically, and experienced myself on shutting off social media.
Of course, remember social media is curated, from how notifications are delivered to the endless scroll of the platforms to the content itself. Doesn’t matter if it’s a highlight reel or content designed to provoke outrage. Social media has its hooks in us because it’s designed to tap into the emotional and reward pathways in the brain.
So take control and be mindful of how you’re using it!
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Note: This post is intended for information and entertainment purposes only; nothing in this article or episode is a substitute for medical or mental health treatment; do not delay necessary medical care; please work with a qualified and licensed health care provider in your area.
